It's amazing how 3 years can feel like such a lifetime to be without Mom...and yet, if I look down the hall, it feels like only a moment ago she was walking down it and smiling at me.

I know that in the days, weeks, months and years that have past that we've learned to keep going...and keep going and smile...and keep going and live life and laugh...and I know that I've learned to not feel guilty about living life, laughing and being happy again...and that learning to live a life without mom has become exactly that...living life without mom...

But boy there are days like today, or moments that just grab you...when you know, that there's still a void and this hole in your heart that really only one person can fill...and boy do I miss her.

I love you, mom....
and miss you so much more than words could ever say.

my revelation

I made an important revelation over the past 4 wonderful days:

My body was clearly made to lead the life of luxury...to live in that sort of existence where someone cooks, cleans, makes my bed daily so that I in turn can expand my mind by exploring, watching sunsets, appreciating the millions of sparkling stars, sipping rainbow colored drinks and watching the surf.

This grueling tax of daily life? Chores? Laundry? Dishes? Definitely not for me.

:)

(pictures and post will follow once i screen the 500 shots)

up up...

up up...and AWAY!!!!!

Off for a 4 day getaway for some alone and birthday time with Ryan. :) :) :D YAY!!!

(and some much MUCH needed R&R) Big Island here we come!!!

sisterly love

i love my sister. even if she's stupid and didn't let me win. (see below)

i should've won.

...but i suppose she's a big girl and it's time for her to fight her own battles...and hopefully for part of which i'll be there beside her. ;)

sibling rivalry

in the spirit of NOT letting my sister beat me. looks like i'm following suit and getting a needle biopsy tomorrow of my thyroid gland.

felt some odd pressure going on at the base of my throat last week, went in for a fast check-up on Thursday, to have my doctor exclaim, "oh! we need to get you in for an ultra sound right away!" ;) not the most comforting words, but i had figured as much. unfortunately the ultra sound shows a couple of things that we need to check out....and check it out in the form of a needle biopsy.

definitely my bachi for laughing at my sister's anxiety ridden reaction to her needle biopsy last week....and as i told my dad. we all know that i'm the one one in the family with the medical issues, so when Cec said she had to have a biopsy, apparently my body figured, 'heck no. if she's gonna have one, we're gonna have one too! and we're gonna make the lump at least twice her size!'

:) so here we go. at least it was a good excuse for a 4 day weekend. (furlough friday) biopsy is 9:30 mon morning....test results for both of us back tuesday...think good vibes!

unconditional love

there's nothing like the unconditional love from a dog...

hoku literally jumps up and down (on her front paws) when rye and i go over to his parents. we were making flower arrangement for Shelly's shower last night, and so hoku had to go to the bedroom, but stood at the door looking out at me waiting for attention. whenever i turned around this is what she looked like. ;)

more sewing...

more burpies that i gave to coworkers and friends...