i think i can safely post without revealing one thing or another...

i really miss my mom.

pum pum pu-pum

...oh. That's my heart. ...

Waiting is hard.

Here we go...

On the way for blood draw 2.

Heart has been doing flip flops and nervous stomach. :)

Please, please, please, please...faith, faith, faith, faith.

With a heart full of hope and appreciation for your support,
stace

Note From Ryan...

Hard to believe that after what started nearly a year ago, tomorrow is a BIG day for Stace and I.  Hopefully (knock-on-wood, cross your fingers, think good thoughts, send out positive vibes,  throw salt over your left shoulder, avoid all cracks in the sidewalk) our schedule will look like this: test tomorrow (comes back positive!), another blood test in about 10 days (again, comes back positive!), and then 10 days after that an ultrasound to confirm that that the embryo(s) has implanted successfully.  So really, this (could be, knock-on-wood) the start of a very nerve-wracking three weeks!.

It's been interesting to see how we handle the stress in a situation like this, one in which- even though you try to do all the "right things" possible- is essentially out of our hands.  We're doing everything possible to squeeze every last little percentage point in our favor.  On the other hand, as a few people have told us, we try to just have Faith and believe that it will happen.  (It makes you feel a little bipolar bouncing from one extreme to the other).  Which brings me to this little point...

I (much more than Stace) really do not one to jinx this, bachi this, count my chickens before they hatch, by telling people too early that Stace is pregnant.  (I think there is a residual effect from the last time when we didn't wait and told people only to have her have a miscarriage a few days later.)  So even though we are taking the first test tomorrow (and even though Stace is a little disappointed) we're not going to be announcing the results for at least a month (maybe more?).  (Stace did ask why we couldn't tell people if the test came back negative.  But if you knew we were going to tell you "no" and then we don't say anything, isn't that the same things as announcing "yes" as well?  It sounds more logical in my head, trust me.)  That way when we do announce something (hopefully that she's pregnant, again, knock-on-woood) we'll feel confident in it.

I look at it this way: tomorrow's test measures the change in HCG levels so minute that a home EPT wouldn't test positive.   (So in my mind) it'd be like a woman who is a day late on her menstrual cycle telling everyone she's pregnant (might be a tad bit too premature =) ).  So while I'm sorry to disappoint all of Stace's readers, please don't stop reading her blog!  Oh, and if you could, please send us your good thoughts, vibes, prayers, and wishes tomorrow and over the next month or so!  We really do appreciate everyone and their support.  If the love and support of family and friends could guarantee a pregnancy, Stace and I would soon be starring in our own reality show (move over, John and Kate!).

Thanks so much everyone!

Ho hum...

(sigh) The one little taste of freedom wet my appetite but back in bed already. Thank heavens for my iPhone! Too hard to use the computer when on your back but my phone helps while away the hours. (whittle away the hours? what's that term?)

Anyway, and it's let me write my little posts. :)

Thinking good thoughts towards my belly!

love,
stace

Fresh air

I am out of the house for the first time in 10 days. :)

Blood draw #1.

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed! Fingers crossed!!

Good vibes

I'm not going to go into detail but am back flat on my back on bedrest... And am shamelessly asking for any good vibes possible thru Saturday. Please please please.

Thank you so much for keeping us in your thoughts we really appreciate it and could really use it right now.

Crossing our fingers, toes & eyes...

with love, appreciation, and heart filled with hope,
stace

Thank Heavens

Thank Heavens for sisters. Particularly a sister like Cecily who not only cleaned, did the wash and took care of me today but then also made a super yummy healthy dinner. Rosemary chicken, Swiss chard and lentils. (thanks T-n-T for her chard recipe!)
And all with perfect timing cause guess who's fighting a cold...BOTH Rye and I. Boo. :(

Quick Update

(Written by Cecily, standing in for Stacy)

Mmmm... Red onion tea. I bet you're extremely jealous.

I had a visit from the acupuncturist today and unfortunately, she said I need to take it easy and pretty much go back to being on bed rest.  I wasn't even over exerting (or even exerting) myself.  But I need to take it easy and lay flat more, and not get excited or mad.  This means no more words with friends i-phone games and no more pac-man, no more yelling at Ryan (good thing we have walkie-talkies!), and no more unnecessary standing up.

For some reason, my voice is also hoarse. And unfortunately, I have a slight cough.  That's not good.  My acupuncturist suggested I drink the delicious red onion tea (red onion boiled in water)  to help stop me from coughing.  Delicious, right? =)

Thank goodness I have an absolutely incredible, extraordinary, phenomenal husband.  And I'm pretty happy that my sister came into town too, because she can hang out with me when Ryan goes to work.  The wonderful guy took off 3 days to help take care of me before my sister came into town.

So bed-rested I'll be until Thursday night.  Thank you for all of the positive thoughts!  I could use some entertaining ones now. =)

(Written by Cecily standing in for Stacy)

CLEAN!!!

I TOOK A SHOWER!!!!!!

Admittedly only a 3 minute shower (hee hee-refraining from making a comment about my sister here), but holey smokes I feel like a new person. :)

Have gotten permission to get up a little, but to still take it easy, so actually walked into my living room and kitchen for the first time in days!

Some serious luxuries here. :)

Plus, woo hoo!!! My sister comes in tomorrow!!! YIPPPEEE!!! :)

Thanks again for all the messages, comments, texts and e-mails...knowing you guys are out there and sending positive thoughts from all over helps incredibly. (and is getting me choked up, but that's also probably those dang hormone but shots)

love,
stace

over rated

bed rest is highly over rated.

relishing in my few moments at a 45 degree angle after lunch to say a fast hello. :)

transfer went well (the bits and pieces i remember in my drug induced state) and have now been horizontal for 49.5 hours, of which only 5 times now have i gotten up to use the bathroom.

ryan has been a dream, plumping pillows, bringing me meals, massaging my legs, being encouraging and cocking his eyebrow at me if he thinks i'm fidgeting too much. ;) (hee hee...did i mention he got us walkie talkies so i can also call him easily where ever he is in the house) ;)

only 24 more hours and i can move to the couch! hallelujah. might even be able to take a shower.

trying to be like my kids when we used to play 'log' (i was inspired one day and came up with the game)

thanks for all the continued good vibes!!! we keep talking to the little blastocysts and my uterus to stay in there!

love,
stace

here we go!

Here we go! Here we go!!! Big day is here!

I've got my drug cocktail set to go. Acupuncturist is meeting us at the hospital. Drinking lots of water tonight. Trying (though a little unsuccessfully) to load our good vibe music on Ryan's iPod to play during the transfer...

...and thinking positive welcoming thoughts for our little blastocysts!

10:30 is the time of transfer. Thank you so much to all of you who have already texted, e-mailed, called, and are sending good vibes are way.

With all of our fingers and toes crossed, and appreciation for your support,
stace