Nursing beginning to end

I won't lie breast feeding isn't pretty- pumping, leaking, biting, engorgement...but it's come to be something I enjoy and in fact at times adore.

It didn't start that way. Especially with nursing 2. The first several weeks were rough and there were multiple times when I would tell Ryan (with one little baby on each breast), "They are SUCKING the LIFE out of ME!!!" and I wasn't joking. In the beginning I would have to actually play games on my iPhone AS I nursed in order to distract myself and escape for the brief amount of time, and it was hard not to just feel completely trapped. Thankfully this phase passed. Nursing and breast feeding twins is endless, but finally something I can now enjoy. There's something that warms the heart when you're able to soothe your baby or put them to sleep, satisfy them, comfort them, and connect with them...

My goal was to make it to 4 months nursing. I knew pumping would be a struggle once I went back to work but was hoping to be able to hang on to the night and morning feeds for a couple more months. Unfortunately, this is not to be. We've made it to 4 months, but have only 3 short days left of nursing. The drug I'm about to take is absolutely not nursing safe so as of Wednesday the boys will have to be boobie free. I'm not sure who it's going to be harder for them or me.

Many babies experience nipple confusion, and Dr's often strongly recommend not introducing the bottle too early. With 2 babies, this just wasn't possible we needed to supplement with formula and needed Daddy to be able to help feed as well. No problem with the boys till we hit about month 2. All of a sudden they wised up. Only it was opposite to what normal babies experience. Most babies end up preferring the bottle. The milk comes out much faster with minimal sucking and less work. Not our boys. Our boys are boobie boys :) they prefer the breast, resist the bottle, are often stubborn and will only take the bottle enough to take the edge of their hunger, but they know what the want, they want to nurse. :) Which makes me smile. Thankfully they transitioned well while I was in the hospital and took to the bottle (Andrew was a little more resistant), and then when they were visiting with me loved being able to be back on the breast. It was sweet. But it's about to come to an end.

3 more days. Three more days, and I'll enjoy every minute and every little second of nursing until then.

Andrew sleepy and content after his afternoon snack

As a couple side notes -

1) This was absolutely not a complaint. Giving up breastfeeding is a very small price to pay to be able to take a drug that can kick this cancers butt. And so typical as a Mommy I was glad the medicine took a couple of extra days to arrive so I had that extra nursing time with the boys. As a husband, Ryan wanted to know why they couldn't overnight the medicine yesterday. ;)

2) One of our Infectious Disease Docs at the hospital currently has 10 month twins. He said at 6 weeks old his wife was breast feeding both babies (on the same double pillow we had) and she said, "They are draining the life out of me!" and that was the last time she breast fed them. Funny that she used such similar words, and it made me feel so much better that someone felt the same way AND that I was able to make it past that point!

3) I won't lie. One of the last painful points of giving up breast feeding is nursing is FREE. We'll now be total formula babies which means we have to PAY for their food and it's expensive! :) Yes cheap mommy loved that I was providing vitamin enriched food for free. :)