the wonder of a nap & talkitive under sedation

Whew, just woke up from a 2 hour nap and feeling so much better! Almost back to me again. I've been too tired to even watch TV, let alone do e-mail...but thought I'd update everyone here...

The surgery went as well as it could have, I think...I don't remember a whole lot before after or during cause of the anesthesia, which was really nice. I know that I do remember that the nurses were so super caring and gentle. They couldn't find my veins to put an IV in, but they use something called 'lidocane' (sp?) now so that you only get one big prick and the rest you can't feel, you just see them digging around with the needle. Talked to the nurses about my elevated heart rate at the beginning (I was pushing 90, and my resting heart rate is normally low 70), explained I was more anxious than usual and why. But that I didn't want anything more to relax me then they normally would, because I could handle it fine. There was one moment in the beginning where the monitors started beeping when they first hooked me up, that made me flashback to mom in the hospital, and that was pretty tough...in fact very possibly the closest i've ever gotten to an anxiety attack, where you just want to jump up and run away or crawl out of your skin...but I concentrated on breathing, which made me laugh cause it was like pushing through labor, and then i was fine...

The only other part I remember was them bringing me to in the middle of the surgery, and they warned me they would, because they needed me to open and close my eyes to see how much movement and how equal they could get them...that part I probably could have done without, but was interesting in itself, because as they bring me to, I start asking all these questions like, "Oh, you already started?" "How long have you been going for?" "What part are you on?" and all these things that I really wanted to know...and they'd laugh and answer, but then say, "Okay Stacy we need you to be really still now, so you need to stop talking." only I couldn't cause there were so many important things that I wanted to tell them! hee hee...so that was pretty amusing, until they started up with the cauterizer thing, and I could feel the searing heat and smell the burning flesh (which I told them so-but also added that it wouldn't have been a complete experience without - which i also remember them finding amusing)...i also pointed out to them that I could feel them stitching up my eye, and was I really supposed to be feeling that, to which they said as long as it didn't hurt...to which I replied, well I can feel your needle going in and out of my skin and if you mean the poking, stinging FEEL of the needle, then yeah it kind of hurts, but I could live with it...but they were nice and numbed me up some more and knocked me out again (must've gotten tired of my babbling).

So the surgery took about an hour longer then they thought, there was more scar tissue then they had figured...i'm a little scary looking right now, not as swollen as i thought, but super red and black and blue (well not even blue - almost a dark purple black in the corners of my eye)..and I've got a freaky centipeded looking black stitch going across the top of my lid.

But it's done. And after waking up about 10 min ago, almost feeling up to par again. Have been pretty low energy and off feeling since, but Rye said since it was a pretty big trauma to my face, and so much sedation, that it probably just takes a couple days to shake off.

:) If I'm brave enough I'll put a close up of my eye on the Yang Journal site later tonight.

For now, thanks so much for everyone's thoughts and well wishes. It was a little more emotional then I thought, but coming home and knowing people were out there sending positive thoughts, made it so SO much better.

Thank you.

Love, me