choked up

had another rather cute reaction today from one of my kids who i just told i was leaving. i told him that i wouldn't be here next year, and his eyes got really big, he pulled his shirt half way up over his face and yells, "WHAT?!!! Who's gonna help me calm down when I get ANGRY?!! I'm gonna end up ripping 'em all to SHREDS!!" So we talk about the teachers that he works well with, told him there'd be a new counselor, we talk about how it makes us feel sad, and in the middle of me talking he goes, "Awee MAN, this SUCKS!!!" and although he and I both laughed at his outburst (he never uses bad words and i think it caught him by surprise) after he left and even now my eyes filled with tears. he's a student i've worked with since kindergarten, and who in the first grade gave me this beat up used Christmas ornament filled with candy, but something he made just for me and i remember clearly how proud he was and how touched i was...and oh god, i'm so going to miss these kids.

...and so i sit here writing this in my office because at this moment, we're in the middle of an evening school event, and i had to take a break because standing in the hall, talking to a couple of parents about my leaving and talking about their daughter and how much i've enjoyed having her at Muir, he starts to say how grateful they've been to have me here too, and as he's thanking me this dad gets teary eyed, and so i get all choked up and had to come into my office and collect myself, cause i can just feel i'm about to completely break down...it's so so so hard leaving these families and kids.