Miss you Mom

I think sometimes your body and heart know what your mind doesn't...remembers that there was such a loss on this day years ago. The past few days have been hard, and i wasn't sure why. I missed Mom more, thought of her often, cried in the car, cried in the shower...and didn't realize and had forgotten until mid morning that today was June 3rd.

5 years ago today we lost you Mom, surrounded by the people that loved you most we said goodbye and our world changed forever. 5 years seems like a lifetime without you...and even more so in the past 2 months...and yet if I close my eyes, I can see your smiling face, hear your voice and feel your presence in and around everything I do. I miss you so, Mom. I wish you could see us now. I think you'd be proud of where we are...of all of us, Cec, Dad and I. I think you'd know it wasn't easy to get where we are today without you...but I think you'd understand that we've done our best...and will continue to try to make you proud.

Your grandsons are so much more than we bargained for and fill our life with a love that I didn't think was possible since we lost you. I only wish you could see them now, I only wish they could know what an amazing mother you are and what a wonderful grandmother you would have been...and yet I believe you're smiling down on them, laughing at their chubby cheeks...laughing at the spit up and pee all over me...and quietly patting me on the back and pushing me forward when I feel like I'm about to crumble.

I love you and miss you so, Mom. 5 years is a lifetime without you.