affected

it often happens that you don't realize how appreciated you are until you leave. and i don't mean in a bad way. i've never felt unappreciated here. ever. i just mean you don't realize the impact you have on people or how much you mean to people....i think it's kind of like mom leaving us. we knew we loved her, we knew how much we loved our family, how strong our family was, how she felt like the center of the Sugiharas, how we appreciated her style, her humor and our daily talks, everything...and how when it's gone you appreciate it and miss it so much more.

well, i just got back from a dinner with my principal...and before we left each other she started to tear up and said she had to tell me something because her husband would ask her if she had told me yet. what she said was yesterday after the end of the year party she went home and started to cry, and when her husband asked her why she said it's because she suddenly realized just how much she was going to miss me. and what she continued to say is that she was from a military family and that she's left relationships and friends, and they've left her...and over the recent years she's had people move away, friendships end...but never before has someone had such an impact, on our school, on her...and never before has she realized how much she would really miss someone and been so affected by it...

and although my eyes are puffy now from crying with her...i'm not even sure i can quite put into words how it feels to have someone tell you this. i'm not sure if it's self centered or egotistical to write it down...only i so wish i could tell my mom this...because as she was saying this, what i was thinking was that this was my mom. this is how people felt about my mom...and how i really do think that right now mom would be really happy and proud. and as big headed as it sounds for me to say, i can't help but be a little proud of me as well...because i truely had no idea that i meant this much to one person (outside of my family and ryan) let alone this school...and it's a good feeling...a really good feeling...because regardless of what happens here on out or at any other school, what i know is that here i made a difference...and i think mom would be proud.