Ryan has said before that he often feels so Manic. And I can understand why. When you think of Andrew you go through such extreme lows filled with grief and this empty hollowness...but at the same time, you're so happy to even have had a moment with him that you can't help but be grateful and at times laugh at the memory of his smile & glee...and then you look at Daniel and he fills you with this warmth and peace and happiness... and his sweet squeals of laughter lightens your heart with joy...only to be followed by tears of sadness because his laughter reminds me of Andrew and that he should be here too and that it doesn't feel right to be so happy without him.
And so tonight as I sat at the computer thinking how much I missed Andrew...and started to get sad. I opened a folder and this is the first picture that came to the screen...and I went straight from sadness to laughter...because when you see those big chubby boys and their cheeks how can you do anything but laugh.
(sigh) but i still miss him so. how is it that we went from so so happy...to such desolate sadness in the blink of an eye?
2 comments:
Those cheeks! Those legs!! Those arms!! What precious little babies. My heart is still with you and Ryan (and extended family) each day. Your family is indefinitely on my daily prayer list because your loss is not something that ever is "gone." Much love to you and your family!
Oh my gosh they look like constipated little sumo wrestlers! hee hee =) I LOVE MY NEPHEWS!!!!
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