Ryan is in bed. Daniel is asleep. We just had as close to a pleasant and normal a night as we've had since Andrew passed away...and sitting here as I ate my prescribed spoonfuls of ice-cream, this momentary sense of peace and calm filled me, an...'okay, we're going to be okay' feeling...and then it was immediately replaced by This Sucks. This TOTALLY SUCKS. And as I write it I want to yell it from the rooftops.
Anger phase of grief? Probably.
I don't WANT to have a pleasant and normal night without Andrew. And I shouldn't be happy that for the first time in 5 weeks we've gotten through a night without tears and crying or this huge sense of gaping loss. Though as I write this tears are filling my eyes...so perhaps tonight won't be our night without that feeling of desolation.
God I miss my baby boy.
Mom
Those whom we have loved never really leave us.
They live forever in our hearts and cast their radiant light onto our every shadow.
- Sylvana Rosetti
They live forever in our hearts and cast their radiant light onto our every shadow.
- Sylvana Rosetti
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